is oral the opposite of anal
by rapidlydoom
Summary: is it
1. Chapter 1

Aradia picked up a letter. She looked at it and turned it over to see who it was from.

Karkat?

Well isn't this strange. Couldn't he had just messaged her from the computer? She had him on her contacts list just in case she needed help with her homework, but she mostly went to Sollux for that. The only time she remembers messaging him was when she was asking if he saw Sollux but she never got a reply. She knew he was online. She saw him reblog a photo of hers on tumblr. Well that may have been a queue, but the action seemed sort of dickish.

She opened the letter with her nail.

It was hastily scrawled with pencil and seemed like the message was erased a few times before Karkat found a more acceptable way to format it:

"HEY ARADIA, IM ASKING YOU TO COME TO MY DUMB SLUMBER PARTY TOMORROW AND IT WOULD MEAN A LOT FOR YOU TO COME. THERE'S GOING TO BE ONE OF THOSE TROLL INDIANA JONES MOVIES THAT YOU FREAKISHLY LOVE. SO YEAH. COME HERE."

She flipped the paper over to see if there was something on the other side but it was blank. So she put the notice on her refrigerator and hoped that she wouldn't forget.

-  
Tomorrow proceeded as normal, Aradia brushed her hair, she washed it, she straightened it, she curled it, did her makeup, admired herself in the mirror then jumped in her car and off to school. A few boys whistled at her when she got there. She just smiled. Then the boys whistled louder, she bets she heard a girl whistle too.

She walked to her locker to get her notebook and Sollux was leaning on the locker next to hers.

"Hey AA," he said, playing a game on his PSP. Or do they call it Vita now? Whatever, he's probably playing Assassins Creed and killing people.

She gave a little wave then a smirk and opened her locker. Her locker is terribly unorganized. Books in every which way. It's a wonder how her library books are never late. She grabbed a notebook and a testbook then handed it to Sollux. He always carries her books for her. Even if she wants to carry her own books Sollux snatches them away from her. She doesn't really think much of it.

The day was just dumb school work that Sollux will do for her except the writing assignments because that's Aradia's turf.

She didn't really see Karkat. Whatever. She'll see him at the Slumber Party.

She arrived at the Slumber party then fucked Karkat with sollux taping THEENND


	2. Karkat This Is My House

For my nigga, Irene. Damn you're cute I mean you could be a super model, Irene. Hahaha. Swag.

Dave and Terezi were chilling out, making fun of Kanaya and Rose having sex on the table. Dave was totally videoing this, he's gunna get so many views on Youtube. Wow look, Rose missed Kanaya's nook. Hhaha.

Terezi smelled into Dave's eyes romantically. Dave said, "Oh shit," romantically.

"Dave you freaking fuck face I'm actually Karkat."

"Oh shit," said Dave. Then his boner disappeared.


	3. fuck you bec

Meulin was all up and bullshitting around like all the rest of the bullshit cat motherfuckers in the ghetto. Damn look at that ass. Look what she be haulin. She's haulin... Ass. Then she saw this dog turning up the corner. She was like, "Damn I hate dogs when I be thinkin about ass. Disrupts my flow."  
So she all up and started following that dog and when she caught up to him she grabbed him by the balls, "What kind of owner doesn't fix they own dogs? Thats all kinds of disrespectful to other dogs without dogs. You'll make them all kinds of jealous. You heartless motherfucker. I hate you and your ridiculous 8 inch penis and 5 inch in diameter balls. Fuck you Bec. You bit my boob once. I hate your ass."  
Bec replied with his hot telepathy, "I hate you too Meulin but pussy be ridiculous."  
They then starting smooching each other up and this bitch Mindfang threw up at the sight but Meulin beat her ass so it was ok.  
"Bec," Meulin said, rubbing her clit. "Put that big dog penis inside of me."  
Bec was all like, "But you have HIV. HIV is something that don't need to be on my doggie prostate. I don't need my bitches getting HIV. I have a wife and family, Meulin. How would I tell them? Bitch tell me."  
"HIV stand for Human Immune deficiency Virus and you a dog."  
"Oh. No need to be spittin' ham and egg- But you a troll. How the fuck did you get HIV."  
"Because I wanted a vagina because nooks be droolin' everywheres. So I went to the Walmart up Dolan Way and was like: do you fuckers got some discount vaginas. And they was like: Of fucking course we're Walmart. Most of our sales come from discount pussy. Which one do you want, the fresh pussy for 1 dollar or the HIV one for 99 cent. Bec, I got the one for 99 cent. Even if it has birthed 401 babies, I will keep this pussy. This pussy is my responsibility. I love this pussy. Fuck you Bec. Now I don't got a droolin ass nook. Droolin gross."  
"what chu got against droolin? I'll cut you like a motherfucker."  
"You so white that your master used you as a mop."  
"Yo boobs so small, people say they be chocolate chips. And I can't have chocolate since I'm a dog. Triggered. I'm so fucking triggered right now. Let's yiff so hard that it scars that stank ass pussy. And it will be so hard that my dick grows fifty million inches."  
"Ok, yolo."  
The Meulin ripped a hole in her skirt and put the unerect dog dick inside of her. Bec humped the unerect penis into her until it got hard. Then he fucked her at fifty million miles and her pussy be burning. His dick be burning. His dick is fifty million inches. Meulin is dead. Bec is dead. They killed everyone.  
God is dead and we killed him. 


	4. And That's Why

Bro and John were smooching up on the couch and smoking some high-quality weed then Bro got an idea and then Bro was like, hey man. And John was like, hey man. Bro pulled out a fleshlight and pushed it way up Lil Cal's soft rump like, whoa man. John was all up and confused like, whoa man.

They took four more hits and John said with a heavy confusion, "Why'd you put that fleshlight up there?"

Bro sat there thinking about Elmo and farted a really long fart because they were eating Mexican beans and tacos. John was offended by his smelly poots. He did not warn him of the poot and therefore the poot wasn't cool. Why isn't Bro being cool and not warning about the smelly, bean poots? Because that fucking goldfish Elmo got is a huge bitch, that's why. Bro noticed John's offended face and put his hand on John's shoulder, "Because Lil Cal doesn't have a butthole. Sometimes I feel sad because Lil Cal doesn't have a butthole. Not having a butthole is a nightmare. I wasn't born with a butthole. I got teased in school everyday because I didn't go to school. I lived in a science lab you see. Science freaks love people without buttholes. I hated them. They had to open me up to take my poops out. They took my poops out like that until I turned eighteen. They gave me a butthole that day, with a prostate in it too. I needed to give the power of having a butthole to Cal. If I didn't I wouldn't know how to live with myself."

John stared at Bro for like two minutes and ate a taco but the meat fell on his pants. Bro ate the meat off his pants. John wasn't amused but he got a bit horny. "You wanna have some sex, Bro. Your bad eating etiquette made me hard in the jeans. It's like boner city down there." John slouched down in his couch and whispered, "Boner," in Nic Cage's voice.

Bro looked at Lil Cal then at John and held Lil Cal like that monkey guy held up Simba after he was born. "Let's let Cal join."

"New butthole," John whispered.

"New butthole," Bro whispered.

"Just say asshole you blubbering goddamn pussies," Dad said. He was on the couch too, he made the tacos and the beans. He also was the drug dealer. Dad is cool.

John looked at Bro and Bro looked at John. John turned to Dad and said in his deep voice, "Dad, wanna join the LilCalBroJohn orgy."

"Fuck no, you guys have skinny dicks and I don't want that anywhere near my John Maker," Dad said with distain and ate some beans.

Bro and John shrugged and took off their clothes. Dad left because Bro pooted again. Bro has smelly poots. So smelly. He left a camera running though so he can put it on Manhub. He's known for his interacial videos but white guy on white guy is ok too.

John was like, "Who's gonna put the d in Cal though."

"I am," Bro said.

"You gonna be the middle of the sandwhich? Dude that's all kinds of not fair."

"You're the guy with the deepest voice so you should be the one with the penis in a butthole and no penis in butthole."

"But I like dick in my butthole."

"But you never cum when my dick is in your butthole."

"That's because your dick is skinny as fuck, Bro."

"At least it's long."

"It's like six inches calm down. I have seven inches."

Bro angrily put lube in his butthole and sat on John's penis. John wasn't even hard yet and it didn't really feel that good. So Bro tried to do the thing where you roll your hips and make the dick go in circles but Bro is really fat and it just made his big white booty jiggle. John laughed at the jiggling booty and touched it and Bro was like mmhm. John slapped that rump to make it jiggle and Bro was like omg wow as it jiggled. John now had a raging boner. Damn that ass jigging is so nice.

Cal floated on top of Bro's dick and put his new butthole on top and Bro was like dang nice all started thrusting into each other except Cal because he had no butt to fuck. Everyone feels sad for the guy on the very bottom with no butt to fuck. That's why there's a lot of lesbians in California.

They keep meeting hips to rump and Bro is going really fast and John is like, calm down. Bro continues to heavily pound him and Cal is like calm down. When Bro cums five minutes before John he's shaking like a chihuahua and John isn't putting up with this shaking orgasm shit so he slapped Bro's ass and Bro stopped shaking but his booty started jiggling.

When John came Bro's ass was jiggling so hard it bruised John's penis so hard that he had to get band-aids for it. He went to the grocery store but it was closed because they were in the zombie apocalypse and John forgot and and got attacked. He was like omg when he became a zombie. He killed all living humans with his ass-bruised penis.

That's why you shouldn't have sex when you're high. 


End file.
